THIS IS MY WHY: A woman with a story - Boudoir Blog | Kamuart Photography

THIS IS MY WHY: A woman with a story

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I never thought I have a story. Well, we all have. But I never reckoned my story is worth telling. And then, one day I had a client, who told me about her life-changing surgery, and I was like, whoa! this girl!!! Then there was another one. And another one. And one more.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how inspiring and impactful are these stories. How empowering they are for one who tells and for one who listens.

And then it hit me: This is my why. This is why I do boudoir photography.

The true purpose of it is to let women be seen and heard. Knowing they’re not alone. Knowing they are enough. To give hope. To encourage. To let them know that it’s going to be ok.

Fine art boudoir portrait of a woman on a bed

“Remember, if someone is sharing images or videos of their wonderful life, you don’t know what they went through to get it. For every triumph, there might have been a bucket load of blood, sweat and tears.”

Vex King

I had (what I thought) a very nice childhood, full of friends and adventures. I grew up in a small village and we did it all. I started smoking and drinking at 12. Hey, it was so much fun! Totally worth all the hard spanking.

At that same age, I survived a rape attempt. And maybe, just maybe, I would have grown a softer human being, if my mom gave me a hug, when I came back home in the morning covered in blood, shaking, and told me she loves me. But instead, she said: that’s going to be a lesson for you. (We were never told that we’re loved. As my dad once “explained”: it’s not a thing in our family.)

I grew up in a world where loving families, successful women, happy relationships existed only in Hollywood movies. I left home at 17 just to end up in a toxic abusive marriage. I remember, I called my mom once and asked her to come to pick me up, because I was afraid that my drunk husband is going to smash my face or break my ribs. She didn’t. She had stuff to do.

I learnt my lesson. Never ever ask for help.

After 10 years of drinking, fighting, stalking and sexual abuse, I broke up with my ex. I was alone with 5 years old child, in a foreign country, with barely any English and I lost my job. I had times when we had nothing to eat and no money to buy heating oil.

Fine art portrait of a woman on the floor.

I never cried about it. I thought it was just life. Ordinary. Average. Life. Nothing to complain about. But I knew, I don’t want to live like that anymore.

And I didn’t.

I promised myself never to let anybody (including myself) treat me like a piece of shit. And it changed it all.

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less travelled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

Mandy Hale

Black and white studio portrait of a woman in high heels.

I’ve turned 40 this year, and I can’t be more proud of who I’ve become and still becoming. I am so happy with everything in my life now – my family, relationship with my partner, my children, my bunch of best friends, my job, my health, people I got to work with, people I got to learn from…everything! And I’m so looking forward to the future because I know, life is gonna get only better. Because every day I choose to live a better life.

Fine art portrait of a women standing against the distressed wall.

I want my photoshoots to be a therapeutic experience for women. I want to give them a safe space to re/discover who they are and what they truly desire. The space where nobody is going to judge. I want women to walk out of this experience more confident and empowered to start chasing their dreams and living the life that feels right to them and not to the public opinion. Because I did it. And I know what freedom feels like.

I want you to know too <3

Truly yours, K.xx

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